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Author Topic: Terrible jokes…  (Read 882 times)

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #30 on: March 16, 2022, 12:09:54 PM »
 :lmao:

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Jane

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  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #31 on: March 18, 2022, 10:07:25 AM »
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline spice

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #32 on: March 18, 2022, 03:49:06 PM »
 :lmao:

Q: What do you call a bear without ears?

A: B


I wonder how many will get it? :lmao:

Offline Pinky

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #33 on: March 19, 2022, 10:06:25 AM »
 :bash:

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #34 on: March 20, 2022, 09:54:52 AM »
:laugh:


Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Steve

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #35 on: March 20, 2022, 06:12:10 PM »
 :P

Someone ripped out the 5th month of my calendar. I've been dismayed ever since.
Click For Fun Trivia Quiz
Never approach a bull from the front,
a horse from the rear, or an idiot from any direction.

Offline Pete

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #36 on: March 20, 2022, 09:00:05 PM »
Just been told I'm bi-polar.... dunno whether to laugh or cry

Offline Jane

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  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #37 on: March 21, 2022, 11:08:01 AM »
 :lmao:

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline spice

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #38 on: March 21, 2022, 03:12:26 PM »
 :lmao: :lmao:

I once met a pig that did karate. We called him Pork Chop.

Offline Jane

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  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #39 on: March 21, 2022, 03:42:59 PM »
Groan!  :lmao:


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Jane

  • Her Royal Majesty..squisher of moths and wasp basher
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  • Posts: 3472
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  • Gender: Female
  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #40 on: March 21, 2022, 03:44:23 PM »
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
 


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Steve

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #41 on: March 21, 2022, 06:43:42 PM »
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.

Yikes!
Click For Fun Trivia Quiz
Never approach a bull from the front,
a horse from the rear, or an idiot from any direction.

Offline spice

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #42 on: March 23, 2022, 04:31:34 PM »
 :lmao:

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Offline Jane

  • Her Royal Majesty..squisher of moths and wasp basher
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  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #43 on: March 31, 2022, 01:37:04 PM »
 :lmao:

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Jane

  • Her Royal Majesty..squisher of moths and wasp basher
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 3472
  •  
  • Gender: Female
  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #44 on: April 01, 2022, 04:01:18 PM »
A man looks at his wife of 25 years and says, “Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV... but I got to sleep with a hot 25 year old blonde every night.”

"Now, we have a $300,000.00 house, a $50,000.00 car, a nice big bed and plasma screen TV... But I’m sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things."

The wife being a reasonable woman said "Go out and find a hot 25 year-old blonde and I'll make sure that you, once again will be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.