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Author Topic: Terrible jokes…  (Read 883 times)

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2022, 05:29:30 PM »
omg..   :lmao:


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2022, 05:32:04 PM »
Top tip: If your wife says: “what would you most like to do to my body?”, “identify it” is the wrong answer.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Skyon Archer

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2022, 05:41:03 PM »
Top tip: If your wife says: “what would you most like to do to my body?”, “identify it” is the wrong answer.

Truth!

. . . . .

What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?

They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2022, 05:56:47 PM »
:laugh:

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Skyon Archer

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2022, 05:58:06 PM »
GRRRR . . . okay then, how about this one . . . .

Quote
How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
Quote
Depends on how thinly you slice them

 8)

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #20 on: March 11, 2022, 06:06:38 PM »
:laugh:  good one

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife, when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden…
 


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Jane

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  • Squisher of moths. I HATE moths..spawns of Satan,
Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2022, 08:35:13 AM »
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline spice

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2022, 06:08:39 PM »
I'm really excited for the next autopsy club. It's open Mike night!

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2022, 09:45:09 AM »
 :lmao:

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline Steve

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #24 on: March 14, 2022, 12:44:54 PM »
Little known fact:

Before crowbars were invented, Crows just drank at home.
Click For Fun Trivia Quiz
Never approach a bull from the front,
a horse from the rear, or an idiot from any direction.

Offline spice

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2022, 06:03:55 PM »
 :lmao:

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

Offline Jane

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #26 on: March 15, 2022, 02:33:53 PM »
Groan!  :lmao:

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding she’d say: “you’re next”. So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.


It’s not that I dislike moths…I HATE moths..evil spawns of Satan..  and wasps.. I hate wasps. Spiteful nasty things that sting you for fun. Bash them with a rolled up newspaper.
I HATE ironing as well. Curse irons, Threw it away.

Offline spice

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2022, 03:41:36 PM »
 :lmao:

Why are there fences around cemeteries? Everyone’s always dying to get in.

Offline Pete

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2022, 09:16:17 PM »
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

Offline Pete

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Re: Terrible jokes…
« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2022, 09:22:56 PM »
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.